Accepted Insanity (Another Emo Post by Mikey G)

After living for twenty years theres one thing in my life and that I always see in others that I find pathetic. That is the pursuit of Romantic relationships. After looking back on all my past relationships I have to say that there is always more bad than good. And I seem to be the only one who tries to remember the good in them.

Recently I have lost all desire to Date and be married. Don't get me wrong, I still have the inner desires for female companionship because I am still human and no John I am not Gay. I just don't care about dating and anything of that subject anymore. If there was an object to represent dating I would piss on it for how much it means to me.
Just think about what it does to people! It causes Anger, jealousy, Hate, Bitterness, neglect, Sadness, Depression, sorrow, pain, pettiness, lies, selfishness, misinterpretation and shame. The things I have seen what people do just to be with someone that think they like or love are strait up stupid! I have seen friends stab each other in the back, I have seen friendships end, and i have even seen people physically and verbally abuse people for the sake of being with someone. So right now I am very alright with Never pursuing a girl again in my life. yup, thats right everyone, I am defying what some would say is a part of my humanity to focus on more important things in my life. I feel that this is what I am being called to do. The only Way I will ever do so again is if God Throws a miraculous sign in my face that knocks me back and makes me go "WHOA!".

I must say that a loving relationship does also bring out the best in people. But not enough to convince me that the idea of trying to date the person you currently think you like is worth it. I refuse to be a part of the statistics of failed marriages!



I guess I'm just tired of people hurting each other and themselves.

Any Questions, comments, concerns?

Thanksgiving

This thanksgiving was like non other for me. I was hundreds of miles away from home with almost no money and no family nearby. Luckly God provides for his children!

What I am thankful for are the people that God has placed in my life. When you place your trust in God that he will provide for you in time of need he will do so. he brought people into my life to help me not go hungry and starve on this thanksgiving. I am also thankful for all the people in my life who are there for me, even if its just to talk. It makes life easier. And I can't end this without saying how much I am thankful to God himself and being merciful and loving!


The more of you life you turn over to him the more you'll be amazed!
God will work wonders if you just let him...

A Poem

I remember


The reaching out
with words and arms
Smiles and tears

Backed me up
As the people around became closer
I felt the change

Inside
And
Far far away
I didn't want you to see me
the real me
Afraid of being loved
or loving

I tried to hide
behind my quite
and unspoken thoughts

You wouldn't leave me alone
and you didn't

I'm happy we're friends

A Quote

Yesterday was a dream
Today is reality
Tomorrow is the beginning

Sin has taken hold. Forgive me my Lord!

Life is not easy right now. I am physically weak. I feel the stresses on my body. I am emotionally stressed. And i am mentally stressed from work that continues to pile.

I fear I am dangerously close to my breaking point. The devil has seen this too and is trying to break me farther. I allowed anger and bitterness into my heart and didn't see it, it blinded me. over the past week I have completely lost sight of what I live for. To deal with what I was feeling I did what I normally do, go for a run. In the state I'm in after surgery this could potentially put me in the hospital. So after I hurt myself i turned to others. I went out of my way to inflict anger and hurt on someone else and laughed about it. For those of you who know me will know that this is not me. The corruption i allowed into my heart has brought me back to a Godless self. I asked God why i felt so crappy about stuff and why he allowed everything that was going on to happen. I was mad at him for making me too weak to do anything. I went to sleep that night still feeling the pain of the hurt I caused myself and with the bitterness i caused other people.

When i woke the friend i had purposely hurt told me of what i had done and in that moment i saw the evil that was in my heart. HOW CAN I BE SO IGNORANT OF SUCH A THING IN MY HEART! I have turned my eyes from God for just a moment and trampled one of his precocious children!!! I deserve death by doing so!

Hebrews 10:26,27 Dear friends, if we deliberatively continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice the will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God's judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies.

The moment i read these verses i became aware of the song that was playing over the speaking in the establishment i was sitting in and it was How to Save a Life by the fray and the lyrics Were did i go wrong I lost a friend and i knew that i had pushed friends that i cared about from my life for giving into sin.

Than i went on to read Hebrews 10:32-36. It brought back memories of how no matter what happened I never turned my head. I could be suffering from something for months and i could always say thank you God. It was than i read Hebrews 11:1-3 as the song over the speakers played Meant to Live by Switchfoot. Tears streamed down my face as I started begging for Gods mercy and forgiveness. everything seemed to disappear around me as i kept praying and kept reading.

I asked God to mend what i have undone and to heal me and the people i have wronged. Than God brought me to Proverbs 3. The first verses i read were 11 and 12. That made me realize that this is God disciplining me. I read all of Proverbs 3 and when to Hebrews. Hebrews 12: 11-13 told me what to do next.
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

That is all I can do now. Though I still feel physically, emotionally, and mentally weak I know i must place it all in Gods merciful hands again and ask for his forgiveness and for the forgiveness of others. And deal with the physical hurt i have caused myself.

ManMade Light

I am sitting by a window and it is a little past 4:00 AM and I’m looking out onto a few streets with the full moon looming ahead. These streets are pretty busy during the day and yet at this time of night, they are dead. There is not a single thing moving in sight. I can go out and walk these streets but it would be unwise and dangerous. At this time of day people lose reason in their minds and laws of our society no longer bind their morals. The people who wonder the streets now are thieves, murderers, and they are broken inside. Were it later in the day these streets would be safe enough for a child to walk down! It’s Crazy how a change in the hour can affect a street so drastically!

Another thing that changes this time of day is how they are lit. Man made street lamps illuminate them now, but they are still dark and cold. But then there is Gods Light. During a later hour of the Day Gods light, will bring these streets to life once more and warm the air and make the streets friendly again. It’s interesting how a change in the hour can affect a street so drastically.

Dare I walk these Godless streets at this hour? Or shall I let the people go to sleep before the sun rises just to awake in darkness again? If I don't, who will?

Picking up Chicks.

Picking Up Chicks
The art of picking up chicks has been a mystery since the beginning of man. sure, there are books on the subject but if your anything like me, you don't have time to sit and read some incredibly long tome. For anyone longing to be successful at picking up chicks but needs a simple plan to follow here are five easy steps.


Step 1: THE PLACE
Go to a place where chicks hang out. Obviously you can't pick up a chick if there are no chicks around you. The place you go will depend on where you live. In some parts of the country it could be in a store while other places it could be at a fair or a carnival. Do some research to determine where the chicks are in your area.


Step 2: THE DECISION
Chicks are never by themselves so you'll literally have to pick one out. Every chick is different so make sure you get a good look at all of them. You can tell right away which one is for you by watching their behavior patterns. They range anywhere from extremely tempermental to incredibly needy. It's important not to spend too much time choosing. After all, they're just chicks!


Step 3: THE LURE
Once you've decided which chick you'd like to get, than you need to figure out what will attract that particular chick to you. Some will be attracted to shiny things while others will respond to food. Some are so desperate they'll just come at the sound of your voice. Try any of the three methods until one of them works.


Step 4: THE PRO
Take someone with you who knows what they're doing. Picking up chicks is not as easy as it looks. It always helps to have someone with you who has actually been successful at it. They'll be able to help you with you with your timing and make sure you aren't geting yourself more chick than you can handle. Remember when in doubt, the pro always knows.


Step 5: THE PICK UP
Follow these directions carefully. Begin by getting the chick's attention with one of the lures mentioned in step 3. As soon as the chick begins moving towards you, place the lure in your palm and slowly lower your hand until it touches the ground. After a few minutes the chick should just hop right into your hand. When it does gently lift the baby chicken to your face and rub against your cheek.

God, why must I stay so Blind?

Ever since i have become a christian I have always had the faith and trust in God that he will always bring me through even if i could not see were he was taking me. In a sense he is keeping me blind but still leading me.

But for me being blind is getting really old! God Must really like keeping in the dark, because I have remained blind for a while now. I meet people who no Gods calling for them, weather it be youth ministry, or worship ministry or and secular job. I know people who are really good and stuff and can honor God in that. Why can't I be like that! Sure I'm good at being nice and uplifting, but where the crap is that gonna get me!

I am not good at anything of worth, i have no calling in my life, I never know where i'm going to be from week to week. What if I am just waisting my money on all this college stuff? In the past i could always talk to a mentor about this kinda of stuff but God found it necessary to completely remove all of them from my life at the moment. WERE AM I GOING TO TURN NOW! When my dad was still alive i could always count on him being there when i needed help. No matter the time of day, or the date, or location he was always freaking there!! I'm tired of being blind! I'm tired of not knowing where to go next! Satan sure knows how to dish out the low blows don't he?

I feel like I'm just adrift in an ocean and God is the current. I have no idea where its gonna take me, I can only hope it takes me to land.

It's not that I lost my faith, it's just that I get tired of holding on to only that so tightly.

So for now I will just keep praying.

Random Awesome! Try some.

So tonight started out with talking to people on AIM and my dear friend. Lets call her Elizabeth. So Elizabeth decided that we need to go for a walk. My first thoughts were (why the?) So we met outside and started walking into town just talking casually about random stuff. About ten minutes into this walk I'm looking down the street talking when i hear Elizabeth go "oh my". I turned and saw the fountain in the middle of town gushing with soap suds!! I giggled like a little school girl when i skipped over and we proceeded to have a foam fight. We stepped into the fountain and the more suds we displace for are awesome fun the more formed again. we played in this soapy euphoria for about 15 minutes and let me tell you, it was one of the best times I have ever had!

I felt i had to share this moment in life because I think you have to enjoy the little things in life! If you think this story is lame, than chances are you are in fact lame. Now go out and do something Incredibly random and have an have an awesome time doing it!

Yeah I just had to place a point to it didn't I!! oh yeah i went there.

She's not worth the overdose!

Girl: I don't wanna go out with you anymore.

Boy: why not!? Whats wrong?

Girl: Its just over. (click)

Boy: (throws phone)

After this conversation the boy felt hopeless and underly depressed. The boy had not seen this coming, he had no idea what was going on. At that moment he thought through his mind "What could my worth possibly be if i can't even make a girl happy enough to stay with me!" as he cursed aloud to himself. Ten minutes had passed with the boy walking back and worth wondering to himself what he did wrong, could this be fixed, and why he was stupid enough to put forth effort into another person who would turn around and run.
He started to be overwhelmed with the anger and sadness as he looked up and his eye randomly landed on the medicine cabinet which was full of medication at the moment. The reason this cabinet was fun of meds was because the boy had been taking several medications to help quell the depression he had been going through. He walked over and grabbed 4 bottles of pills, dumped them out on the counter, went to the sink for a glass of water, and started downing pill after pill until the counter was empty. He walked into the next room pulled out a knife and looked to his arm. The boy found a nice empty spot in between scabs from other knife cut and made two deep straight cuts into his flesh. After that he pulled a cover over him and cried till he passed out.



I'm gonna start off by asking a simple question. Do you have to always be in a relationship to be happy?I know too many young people who are always looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend and are always unhappy and depressed about life. their view of life is so messed up that they think to only good comes from a member of the opposite sex.

Try relying on someone so perfect that they will never leave you or put you down. Try getting to know yourself, and find a way to be happy in life without dating. I say this because if you enter a relationship in a bad place in life chances are that if it ends you will still be in that bad place. My point to all this is if you struggle with in this part of you life date the ideals and teachings of Jesus Christ. It will give true meaning to your life.



When I woke after passing out on the couch I could only see blurs of colors and i could not walk. I had an I V in my arm and i was on a suicide watch in the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia a day later. It took me a few moments to remember the following day and to realize where I ended up. Following that I was sent to a psychiatric Hospital called Brook Glenn. I look back on what I did and the only thing i can say is "wow that was possibly the dumbest thing I have ever done".

Don't get me wrong, I totally support people dating. Just make sure you life is together enough to handle it.

If your a girl reading this, read the title as He's not worth the overdose.

The Darkness of Night

Throughout my life I have met, and still know many people who are afraid of the Dark. I was scared of the dark at one point in my life too, but I have since overcome that. The reason humans are scared of being in the dark is because people are scared of the unknown. For some reason people need to be able to clearly see everything thats going on around them at all times. If you one of those people, you ever think about what would happen if you put your life completely in the hands of something bigger?
(If you do not believe in God you may have a hard time understanding anything past this point.)

The reason I Write about this is because I know there is no reason to be scared!

The reason I no longer fear the dark is because I know someone who does knows whats in it. God knows exactly what is in the darkness around me and i have faith that he does not want to harm me. If you have given you life to Christ than why would he want to take what is already his? If you live for Christ he will always be there with you protecting you. He will forever be there with you.

Psalm 139: 8If i go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:12 Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light.

John 1:5 The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.


That is how I have overcome my fear of the dark.
Are you afraid of the dark? haha






Don't get me wrong, have a little caution if you going into the woods or you see your door or window busted open! In cases like that you have four options.

1: running
2: a friend (Must be Male and Big)
3: 911
4: a weapon




















warning:
This Message does not apply to ninjas.

A Grandmother's Love

This past year I have had the opportunity to spend time with a couple friend's families and I got to see how my friends interact with their parents and grandparents and how a loving family acts. During this time I took noticed to grandparents. I have always heard that grandparents are suppose to be kind, loving and be the parents you go to to have fun and get candy from.

I cant help but to envy these families. I always wished that my grandmom would have been there for any part of my life, maybe like when i was depressed, or the times i had trouble with my mom, or when my father died. instead she decided to cut off all contact with my family. What a good way to show your love, right?! I can name a few dozen times in life i could have used some love.
A couple times though out my life i can remember my grandmother and my mom talking and we would visit and she would cut us off again out of nowhere.

In the past 2 months my mom and grandmother started talking once again and i have had a few invitations to visit her. I turned down those invites because i honestly don't think i can stand face to face with her without saying something I will regret. I hate to watch my mom set herself up to be devastated once again in her life. Its happening exactly the same as it has before. I keep praying to God that i will be able to let go of this feeling of abandonment. Theres nothing i want more than to tell my grandmom i love her, but I truly can't. I just hope that God will give me the strength to do so before she is on her death bed. And in the end I have faith that he will.


So the point of this post is to remind you to Never take your grandparents for granite. Value your time with them. If your a grandparent and your reading this please show your love for your kids and grandkids and pass on the wisdom that comes with the experience of living life.

If you can relate to my story and are going through something similar, put it in Gods hands. Let do his healing, because without him we are nothing! Philippians 4:13 I can do all through him who gives me strength.

My conversation with God

For those of you who know me you know i like to tell random stories, so heres one i thought i would share with everyone.

Today I was just sitting around thinking about different aspects of life when i start to hear rumbling of thunder in the distance. I watched as the storm came closer and when it finally hit I got a bit excited because I'm a sucker for a good storm. I ran outside to get up close and personal with it and i couldn't help but think how awesome God is for creating such power.

After standing out in the rain and thunder for a few minutes when I put up my hands and yelled "is that all you got, bring it!" and in that vary second a huge bolt of lightning stuck the ground in the not so far distance and the loud crack of the thunder shook me. I laughed and started talking to God for a bit after that. when i hit a pause in my conversation i remember thinking about how i was so stoked about how freakin awesome God can be so i just had to say "One more time just for laughs " and again at that moment a bolt of lightning crossed the sky. After that i just smiled and went inside.


I wanted to tell this story because I felt God was there with me in that 20 mins. I knew that he was listening to me, and i knew if God wanted to strike me down he could in an instant but i have already given my life to him. I felt safe with him by my side and i know he is by your side as well. When it comes time to face a fear or do something that is not easy just remember God is with you always, you just have to surrender and let him in.