Accepted Insanity (Another Emo Post by Mikey G)

After living for twenty years theres one thing in my life and that I always see in others that I find pathetic. That is the pursuit of Romantic relationships. After looking back on all my past relationships I have to say that there is always more bad than good. And I seem to be the only one who tries to remember the good in them.

Recently I have lost all desire to Date and be married. Don't get me wrong, I still have the inner desires for female companionship because I am still human and no John I am not Gay. I just don't care about dating and anything of that subject anymore. If there was an object to represent dating I would piss on it for how much it means to me.
Just think about what it does to people! It causes Anger, jealousy, Hate, Bitterness, neglect, Sadness, Depression, sorrow, pain, pettiness, lies, selfishness, misinterpretation and shame. The things I have seen what people do just to be with someone that think they like or love are strait up stupid! I have seen friends stab each other in the back, I have seen friendships end, and i have even seen people physically and verbally abuse people for the sake of being with someone. So right now I am very alright with Never pursuing a girl again in my life. yup, thats right everyone, I am defying what some would say is a part of my humanity to focus on more important things in my life. I feel that this is what I am being called to do. The only Way I will ever do so again is if God Throws a miraculous sign in my face that knocks me back and makes me go "WHOA!".

I must say that a loving relationship does also bring out the best in people. But not enough to convince me that the idea of trying to date the person you currently think you like is worth it. I refuse to be a part of the statistics of failed marriages!



I guess I'm just tired of people hurting each other and themselves.

Any Questions, comments, concerns?

Thanksgiving

This thanksgiving was like non other for me. I was hundreds of miles away from home with almost no money and no family nearby. Luckly God provides for his children!

What I am thankful for are the people that God has placed in my life. When you place your trust in God that he will provide for you in time of need he will do so. he brought people into my life to help me not go hungry and starve on this thanksgiving. I am also thankful for all the people in my life who are there for me, even if its just to talk. It makes life easier. And I can't end this without saying how much I am thankful to God himself and being merciful and loving!


The more of you life you turn over to him the more you'll be amazed!
God will work wonders if you just let him...

A Poem

I remember


The reaching out
with words and arms
Smiles and tears

Backed me up
As the people around became closer
I felt the change

Inside
And
Far far away
I didn't want you to see me
the real me
Afraid of being loved
or loving

I tried to hide
behind my quite
and unspoken thoughts

You wouldn't leave me alone
and you didn't

I'm happy we're friends

A Quote

Yesterday was a dream
Today is reality
Tomorrow is the beginning

Sin has taken hold. Forgive me my Lord!

Life is not easy right now. I am physically weak. I feel the stresses on my body. I am emotionally stressed. And i am mentally stressed from work that continues to pile.

I fear I am dangerously close to my breaking point. The devil has seen this too and is trying to break me farther. I allowed anger and bitterness into my heart and didn't see it, it blinded me. over the past week I have completely lost sight of what I live for. To deal with what I was feeling I did what I normally do, go for a run. In the state I'm in after surgery this could potentially put me in the hospital. So after I hurt myself i turned to others. I went out of my way to inflict anger and hurt on someone else and laughed about it. For those of you who know me will know that this is not me. The corruption i allowed into my heart has brought me back to a Godless self. I asked God why i felt so crappy about stuff and why he allowed everything that was going on to happen. I was mad at him for making me too weak to do anything. I went to sleep that night still feeling the pain of the hurt I caused myself and with the bitterness i caused other people.

When i woke the friend i had purposely hurt told me of what i had done and in that moment i saw the evil that was in my heart. HOW CAN I BE SO IGNORANT OF SUCH A THING IN MY HEART! I have turned my eyes from God for just a moment and trampled one of his precocious children!!! I deserve death by doing so!

Hebrews 10:26,27 Dear friends, if we deliberatively continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice the will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God's judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies.

The moment i read these verses i became aware of the song that was playing over the speaking in the establishment i was sitting in and it was How to Save a Life by the fray and the lyrics Were did i go wrong I lost a friend and i knew that i had pushed friends that i cared about from my life for giving into sin.

Than i went on to read Hebrews 10:32-36. It brought back memories of how no matter what happened I never turned my head. I could be suffering from something for months and i could always say thank you God. It was than i read Hebrews 11:1-3 as the song over the speakers played Meant to Live by Switchfoot. Tears streamed down my face as I started begging for Gods mercy and forgiveness. everything seemed to disappear around me as i kept praying and kept reading.

I asked God to mend what i have undone and to heal me and the people i have wronged. Than God brought me to Proverbs 3. The first verses i read were 11 and 12. That made me realize that this is God disciplining me. I read all of Proverbs 3 and when to Hebrews. Hebrews 12: 11-13 told me what to do next.
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

That is all I can do now. Though I still feel physically, emotionally, and mentally weak I know i must place it all in Gods merciful hands again and ask for his forgiveness and for the forgiveness of others. And deal with the physical hurt i have caused myself.